This Is My Life
At the nail salon:
- The owner shoved the phone into my face, and said, “You talk to her!” in the middle of a conversation with a caller asking for directions. The caller was having problems with owner Lisa’s accent. (Lisa, obvs, is not the owner’s real name. It’s the name she use so that we Americans don’t have to try and pronounce her Vietnamese name.) Like whuuut? Dude, I don’t even talk on my own phone!
- My pedicurist said, “OHHHHHHH? What happened?” while pointing at three large bruises on my right calf. And I, literally, have no idea where those bruises came from. I am such a klutz that I don’t even bother trying to keep up with the daily havoc I wreak on my body and clothing.
- She also pointed at my face and asked, “You want an eyebrow wax? You need it!”
I can’t make this stuff up, people. It’s what happens to me all day. Every day. When I leave the house. And now you know why I am in training to become a hermit. The end.
